About each object, ask yourself: how long? A week? A month? Until the year
0003?
0003?
If you have just confessed your sins and feel that the end of the world is near (it’s 20 November 2012), try not to make big sins in your last days, because probably will be easier to self-restraint than finding a priest free.
Have you seen how they are crooked as they walk? Set up the house at the other end of a tibetan bridge, and you’ll be quiet.
Your last meal was: a) plenty of food found in a supermarket, b) a few
things found in the rubble, c) your left arm.
things found in the rubble, c) your left arm.
When you look at an object, ask yourself: can I use it for cooking? Can I
use it to hit someone and then cook it?
use it to hit someone and then cook it?
In any case, the aliens always start by the Americans and then they proceed
with Europe and the G8 to follow. There are villages in Africa where they
probably will not come anyway.
with Europe and the G8 to follow. There are villages in Africa where they
probably will not come anyway.
When do you have confessed your sins the last time? Remember that is active a toll-free number for confessions at the point of death. The difficult part in doomsday will be to take the line, so it should be predicted at least a few hours before.
If life gives you just radioactive lemons, use them as projectiles against the hordes of hungry zombies.
First ask yourself if your house is below: a) martial law, b) the hungry
eyes of a gang of jackals c) ten feet of water
eyes of a gang of jackals c) ten feet of water
The machines are often vulnerable to water: between a liquidator and a gun,
choose the liquidator. Between a liquidator and a ion rocket launcher choose
anyway the ion rocket launcher.
choose the liquidator. Between a liquidator and a ion rocket launcher choose
anyway the ion rocket launcher.
Now ask yourself: how can you carry your goods? Shoulder? Car? Aided by your
band of deformed mutants?
band of deformed mutants?
If the alien ships began to destroy the monuments there is a 3% chance they
had a bitch professor of art history at the high school. Cross your fingers.
had a bitch professor of art history at the high school. Cross your fingers.
If you are the last man on Earth and you have found the cure, please lose no
time to make twelve phials.
time to make twelve phials.
According to the Zoroastrians, the world will end after 72 hours of rain of
fire. A sturdy roof and four caskets of Hazzard County should be enough to
have it all.
fire. A sturdy roof and four caskets of Hazzard County should be enough to
have it all.
Each object can be bartered with the underground resistance, with the new
rulers, or with the blond in thong who lives in the gutter in front.
rulers, or with the blond in thong who lives in the gutter in front.
It is useless to seek revenge: who is responsible of an atomic holocaust is
always the first to lose out. If you need to give vent to your feelings,
shoot the mutants down the street.
always the first to lose out. If you need to give vent to your feelings,
shoot the mutants down the street.
If the alien ships began to destroy our monuments they may not appreciate
the pretentiousness. Or do not appreciate us.
the pretentiousness. Or do not appreciate us.
If you hear the noise of gnashing of teeth closer and closer, hook it in the opposite direction.
If the human population is reduced to one person, it is very likely that is
you to have to find the cure.
you to have to find the cure.
If the cause of the disaster is an asteroid, you can console yourself in
this way: "After all, it's happened even at the dinosaurs."
this way: "After all, it's happened even at the dinosaurs."
If phones rebelled, find a base where there is no connection. And execute a
counterattack in New Year's Eve, when they stop working.
counterattack in New Year's Eve, when they stop working.
Beware: if your neighbor invites you to go to harvest mushrooms in June, may
not be those that are under the trees.
not be those that are under the trees.
If they have fun to pulverize Earth men laughing, they didn't come in peace.
If they do it in serious way, it's the same.
If they do it in serious way, it's the same.
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