Fight fire with fire, as Metallica said. To steal an alien gun is always the
first essential step towards humanity revolt.
first essential step towards humanity revolt.
Pay particular attention to viral zombies: they spread with the speed of a YouTube video but they do more damage.
If the virus spreads by saliva, just don't kiss people at random in the
disco, especially if: secretes green slime, his eyes are bright red, leaks
shreds of flesh.
disco, especially if: secretes green slime, his eyes are bright red, leaks
shreds of flesh.
If a failed scientist who lives in a weather cabin at the top of a mountain
announces an environmental disaster, believe him.
announces an environmental disaster, believe him.
Immediately assure not to be an advanced machine model masked as a human
being. If there isn't anything better, use the test: "Knife in the arm."
being. If there isn't anything better, use the test: "Knife in the arm."
Many aliens are vulnerable to acidic substances contained in Earth fruits.
Please refer to file # B432.5 to build a fruit salad cannon.
Please refer to file # B432.5 to build a fruit salad cannon.
Introduce yourself to the doomsday with something strictly white, preferably with no writing. T-shirts of heavy metal bands are a bad idea.
In case of zombies created by the necromancy, you just need to find the necromancer and set fire to him.
If the virus spreads by contact, it's time to pull out of the drawer those
gloves with the giraffes drowed on that your grandmother gave you for
Christmas 2005 and you should wear them without shame.
gloves with the giraffes drowed on that your grandmother gave you for
Christmas 2005 and you should wear them without shame.
However, in case of environmental disaster, the President of the United
States brings bad luck.
States brings bad luck.
The supermarkets are always a good source of supplies: if they are build
under a layer of lead two feet thick, yummy!
under a layer of lead two feet thick, yummy!
Many aliens are vulnerable to our diseases, such as those ones War of the Worlds. As a last resort, try to sneeze in their face.
Ok, you don’t have a plan B. You can try to hide in a confessional: a black suit, a distracted angel and is done, you're in paradise.
The most important thing is to ascertain the origin of zombies. Who has created them? A magician? A virus? Television?
If the virus spreads by air, do not hesitate to swap your plasma TV with a
gas mask.
gas mask.
If it rains fire, an umbrella is not enough. An umbrella of asbestos can
help, but it must be coupled with anti-contamination overalls.
help, but it must be coupled with anti-contamination overalls.
Were you looking for an opportunity to loosen up yourself? Well, this is the
age when you must pull the plug. (in inglese non c'è il gioco di parole).
age when you must pull the plug. (in inglese non c'è il gioco di parole).
If you were one of those paranoid who lived in bunkers during the 50's,
well, you are a boss in 10's years.
well, you are a boss in 10's years.
As would be foolish in having attacked the earth, the aliens may be allergic to water: pay attention to see if they make the shower or if they wash with those hideous wet wipes.
Difficult to think about something where the eye of God cannot come, so better have in store a plan B.
Is it necessary to say? The zombies die shooting them at the brain. It seems strange because they don’t use it, but it’s just so.
Who has spread the virus? Aliens? Corrupted secret services? A crazy
necromancer? In all these cases you are in serious trouble.
necromancer? In all these cases you are in serious trouble.
Any technological object is potentially dangerous. Resign yourself to eating
cold bread in the morning for some time.
cold bread in the morning for some time.
Bury them before the catastrophe. No matter how tidy is your turf, after the
bomb will still be no good.
bomb will still be no good.
Many aliens are telepathic. Try not to think; and if you must, think of nice and pleasant things. Except the little men of Marshmallows, of course.
There are many potential vindictive and destructive gods. Be sure you understand the basics of the major monotheistic religions.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
