Showing posts with label Climatic Upheaval. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Climatic Upheaval. Show all posts
No stress: in a world where cities are pulverized to expanses of vitrified
ash, any restaurant you choose will be fine.
ash, any restaurant you choose will be fine.
Okay, there are twenty degrees below zero and mammoths are refusing to go
out into the garden, but at least no one will take more fun of you if you're
male and you like ice skating.
out into the garden, but at least no one will take more fun of you if you're
male and you like ice skating.
Learn to be content: OK, your dryer has been destroyed by fiery-hot rain,
but the sun nine times hotter for the greenhouse effect, isn't enough?
but the sun nine times hotter for the greenhouse effect, isn't enough?
In a world where 91% of the population is buried under two hundred meters of
snow, you can be successful at the first date.
snow, you can be successful at the first date.
In case of flooding of the Earth, the real secret is to do as Kevin Costner
in Waterworld: having the gills.
in Waterworld: having the gills.
In case of flooding of the Earth, you may be forced to drink your urine, but
don't worry: even Kevin Costner did it.
don't worry: even Kevin Costner did it.
The Maya have provided for the end of civilization in 2012. It's ok. But if
they had been so clever to predict these things, they would keep away by the
conquistadors, or not?
they had been so clever to predict these things, they would keep away by the
conquistadors, or not?
The Ice Age can be a bother, but look at the bright side: no more warm beer.
Think again. Not little.
Think again. Not little.
Don't rely too much on Gore-Tex and other newness: if it rains vitriol there
no technical apparel will be enough.
no technical apparel will be enough.
The lack of food, escapes by the skin of your teeth and the ecosystem
similar to sauna will ensure you a perfect form.
similar to sauna will ensure you a perfect form.
New job opportunities: you could do the robot that stacks garbage and you
could pick up a robot-girl that seems an iPod.
could pick up a robot-girl that seems an iPod.
For those who don't want to work: in case of flooding, apply for a job in
the fire service.
the fire service.
In these situations, an united family can overcome any adversity. Except
perhaps the opening of a volcanic fault in the dining-room.
perhaps the opening of a volcanic fault in the dining-room.
Your last meal was: a) plenty of food found in a supermarket, b) a few
things found in the rubble, c) your left arm.
things found in the rubble, c) your left arm.
First ask yourself if your house is below: a) martial law, b) the hungry
eyes of a gang of jackals c) ten feet of water
eyes of a gang of jackals c) ten feet of water
According to the Zoroastrians, the world will end after 72 hours of rain of
fire. A sturdy roof and four caskets of Hazzard County should be enough to
have it all.
fire. A sturdy roof and four caskets of Hazzard County should be enough to
have it all.
If the cause of the disaster is an asteroid, you can console yourself in
this way: "After all, it's happened even at the dinosaurs."
this way: "After all, it's happened even at the dinosaurs."
No more advertising: the streets will be dominated by posters of Green Peace
with the new slogan: "We told you so."
with the new slogan: "We told you so."
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