In case of raining of frogs or grasshoppers, and openings of the seas, can
be useful to convert to Judaism.
be useful to convert to Judaism.
You could be the leader of the resistance: prepare to meet pissed
Schwarzeneggers at all ages.
Schwarzeneggers at all ages.
Look at the bright side: the end of the world? Means the end of: alarms on
Monday, traffic, appointments to the dentist, the boy band (or not?).
Monday, traffic, appointments to the dentist, the boy band (or not?).
They are beautiful, dressed in a scanty way and with strange colors: seduce
one of them can be an excellent first step towards intergalactic peace.
one of them can be an excellent first step towards intergalactic peace.
If you aspire to heaven, let yourself be found to listen to classical music, possibly Bach. In any case, avoid listening to a Led Zeppelin record played backwards.
In the case of glaciation, immediately fled from the city to your seaside
house. In case of melting of polar icecaps, run to your house on mountain.
Be very careful not to get confused on this point.
house. In case of melting of polar icecaps, run to your house on mountain.
Be very careful not to get confused on this point.
Be positive: don't let yourself go to useless moans such as: "Where is my
husband? Where is my family? Where is my right arm?".
husband? Where is my family? Where is my right arm?".
There's one called Sha'akar Bomb of Thousand Devastating Splinters: no human
has ever used one. If you are the first to do so, make sure you have a
remote control.
has ever used one. If you are the first to do so, make sure you have a
remote control.
If you are sure to be condemned to hell, at worst you can arm yourself with a liquidator full of holy water.
Disinfectants will be your Dom Perignon, antibiotics your Crystal. Keep that
Buscopan for a special day.
Buscopan for a special day.
Think twice if during your next trip to Egypt someone offer you thirty
camels for your wife, your wife will be useless in case of desertification
of the globe.
camels for your wife, your wife will be useless in case of desertification
of the globe.
You must learn to do all without the help of machines: making bread, light
up the house, check facebook.
up the house, check facebook.
The alien weapons are often devastating, but alien in shape: be careful to
clasp in the right side.
clasp in the right side.
Do you want to fight the doomsday with a weapon? Do you want to make a hole of 10 centimeters in the wing of an angel? Mmmh, bad idea.
A zombie can be incinerated, dismembered, dissolved in acid, frozen and torn to shreds. Just don’t expect him to die of oldness.
If the virus spreads because of a skeletal creature riding a horse in
decomposition, forget the antibiotics.
decomposition, forget the antibiotics.
Strive to make friends with the neighbor's husky: it could be very useful in
case of a second ice age.
case of a second ice age.
Remember Sarah Connor: "Who does not wear at least three pairs of heat
glasses will have little cause for rejoicing."
glasses will have little cause for rejoicing."
The alien weapons are devastating but have misleading forms: if the green
bastards don't raise their hands immediately, you are drawing a mixer on
them.
bastards don't raise their hands immediately, you are drawing a mixer on
them.
With dead men leaving from their graves, no man alive thinks that is a good idea to attend a cemetery. Yet a tomb from which the dead is already out and that no demon or angel monitor is probably the best shelter that you can think of.
If the virus is spread by inoculation, be wary of anyone who wants to take a
prick without reason, especially if wearing a white jacket with the symbol
of a unscrupulous megacorporation.
prick without reason, especially if wearing a white jacket with the symbol
of a unscrupulous megacorporation.
Not expect to be notified of an environmental catastrophe from weather
forecasts: the Air Force colonels are always the last to realize.
forecasts: the Air Force colonels are always the last to realize.
Remember Indiana Jones: in case of atomic explosion also be fastened in a
refrigerator may save your life. And you can eat a yogurt in the meantime.
refrigerator may save your life. And you can eat a yogurt in the meantime.
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