Instead of spending your days locked in the house to shoot the zombies on X-Box ruining your health, you can finally do it outdoors. Just watch out for bites, even those ruin your health.
A ship is a good shelter. It will be difficult to replenish supplies, but the zombies while breathing underwater, walk on the bottom. If you want to take a bath, be sure to go far from the seashore.
The recommended vehicle is the motorcycle: even a SUV can’t go far on roads strewn with rubble and carcasses of cars. In addition it consumes more.
Another typical shelter is the prison: good protection, isolated from the outside world, offers thousands of accommodation. The only counter-indication, you're in jail.
Islands, beaches and other places protected from the sea are a very bad choice: the zombies do not breathe and the water gives them a perfect system to approach without being seen.
If you have a two-storey house, make sure you bolt all entrances to the ground and if possible destroy the stairs. Satellite antenna is on the roof, and with the streets burst by the undead you don’t need other things.
Nobody knows today how the devil looks like, but if you approach a guy who looks like Jack Nicholson, Al Pacino or De Niro is a bad sign.
What’s our first weapon against zombies? Intelligence. This doesn’t mean you have to challenge them to chess.
No, no, no. No matter what they do in Independence Day, you can not infect
the network of an advanced alien fleet with a computer virus of the 90's.
the network of an advanced alien fleet with a computer virus of the 90's.
If you have lived a very dissolute life and you're already resigned to hell, bring a lid as the only provision. Given that the devil makes the pots but not the lids, the lid will be almost irreplaceable to barter.
What’s the ideal place to defend yourselves from zombies? A stadium. Secured in sideways, can hold thousands of people, the playing field can be cultivated, and you have never seen the zombies facing the turnstiles!
No stress: in a world where cities are pulverized to expanses of vitrified
ash, any restaurant you choose will be fine.
ash, any restaurant you choose will be fine.
If you're in Detroit, cheer up, the landscape will not be much worse than
that to which you were accustomed to. And the green mist is also funny, or
not?
that to which you were accustomed to. And the green mist is also funny, or
not?
Do you have problems with a race of alien cannibals? Perhaps the right
solution is to eat only songino and drink only soy milk, as long as your
meat will taste like tofu.
solution is to eat only songino and drink only soy milk, as long as your
meat will taste like tofu.
Although it may seem like a good idea, to stop a group of zombies the burst of gunfire to head height is not always the best choice: they aren’t all the same height!
Okay, there are twenty degrees below zero and mammoths are refusing to go
out into the garden, but at least no one will take more fun of you if you're
male and you like ice skating.
out into the garden, but at least no one will take more fun of you if you're
male and you like ice skating.
The robots must have some source of energy. If you do not find the plug, try
to immerse yourself in an inventor of robots: where would you put to make it
retractable?
to immerse yourself in an inventor of robots: where would you put to make it
retractable?
The fish are no longer edible, even if they seem freshly caught, judging by
the color of their three eyes.
the color of their three eyes.
Some alien races would just exterminate us because we are stupid. Show them
the opposite solving in mind Eisenberg inequalities under 13.
the opposite solving in mind Eisenberg inequalities under 13.
It is unknown whether the sex in paradise is made or not (all the evidence leads to support the hypothesis that is unlikely). The only recommendation: in any case, NO to condoms.
Contrary to common opinion, the best weapon to split half a human skull is the battle-axe. In the absence of anything better, there are the fire-resistent one.
Learn to be content: OK, your dryer has been destroyed by fiery-hot rain,
but the sun nine times hotter for the greenhouse effect, isn't enough?
but the sun nine times hotter for the greenhouse effect, isn't enough?
No, no, no. No machination behind the machines will make friends with them.
They do not have that kind of sense of humor.
They do not have that kind of sense of humor.
Have you seen the strange animals out there? Dolly, the cloned sheep,
suddenly seems a royal dinner.
suddenly seems a royal dinner.
Often the aliens try to mingle among humans. Some do mixing inside humans.
It is very painful, hope that doesn't happen to you.
It is very painful, hope that doesn't happen to you.
Ok, now you're in front of the Creator of all things and you realize that is Manitou. You have two things to do: hope none of your ancestors took part in the colonization of America; say that your favorite movie is "Dances with Wolves"
Kill a zombie with bow and arrows can be tedious, slow and dangerous. But if you convert to fire arrows, fun and destruction are guaranteed!
In a world where 91% of the population is buried under two hundred meters of
snow, you can be successful at the first date.
snow, you can be successful at the first date.
Do not worry about the separate collection of rubbish, it is made by the
machines. You go in the wet waste.
machines. You go in the wet waste.
In the long afternoons of nuclear winter, try to invent new games:
guaranteed fun with "One, two, three ... mushroom."
guaranteed fun with "One, two, three ... mushroom."
If you play the guitar, a boy-scout songbook will be a good source of inspiration. If you have brought with you only this guide, nothing serious: here are chord of emergency "I lift my eyes"- A/E B/E A/E B/E A/E B/E A/E B/E.
A study by the International Observatory of the Undead noted that 67% of brain-eater zombies prefer to start by left hemisphere. Keep this in mind.
If you find a spider in the soup, wait before you complain. Is it alive? Well, it's an indication that the soup is incompatible with life forms based on carbon.
In case of flooding of the Earth, the real secret is to do as Kevin Costner
in Waterworld: having the gills.
in Waterworld: having the gills.
To kill the boredom of post-bomb, invent new games: a classic post-nuclear
game is 'names, things, rubble'.
game is 'names, things, rubble'.
It seems that up there they appreciate instruments such as sounding bronzes and echoing cymbals. If you play the guitar stick scrupulously to the repertoire of Church music.
Before the others think about it, open a discount of gas masks. Call Pneumathlon, and you'll be lucky.
In case of flooding of the Earth, you may be forced to drink your urine, but
don't worry: even Kevin Costner did it.
don't worry: even Kevin Costner did it.
The cars see with sensors similar to those of a camera; so never stop moving
and look in the camera: red eyes would scare them.
and look in the camera: red eyes would scare them.
In a post-apocalyptic world everyone can have his weapons. As in America,
but without the idiot accent.
but without the idiot accent.
Some aliens can take human form. Careful who you kiss or syphilis will be
the last of your problems.
the last of your problems.
If you are out fishing and you realize that you put a hook in the mouth of Leviathan, don’t try to bring it to shore.
For safety, at carnival, why don’t you dress up as cockroaches-killer? The suit is nice, makes you slender and is completely isolated.
The Maya have provided for the end of civilization in 2012. It's ok. But if
they had been so clever to predict these things, they would keep away by the
conquistadors, or not?
they had been so clever to predict these things, they would keep away by the
conquistadors, or not?
Is there left a condom in your wallet? Do not waste it as a contraceptive in
a world where 92% of the human race has been burned as fuel, but rather use
it as a flask.
a world where 92% of the human race has been burned as fuel, but rather use
it as a flask.
Only rucksacks and bags. You are all trolley maniacs, but think when the
wheels will be covered with radioactive mud, what fun.
wheels will be covered with radioactive mud, what fun.
Do you look for the resistance? You find them on the mountains, with spears
of bone, wooden houses and dressed in skins of bear. It may not sound like
much, but the aliens girls are all there.
of bone, wooden houses and dressed in skins of bear. It may not sound like
much, but the aliens girls are all there.
The doomsday should start with four skeletons riding terrible blazing horses: they are the horsemen of the apocalypse and you must keep away. If instead of 4 they are 9, you may have run into Nazgul of “the Lord of the Rings”.
Don’t let the emaciated look fools you: those bastards have seven lives like a cat. And sometimes they are also genetically fused with the cat.
Don’t envy the healthy, exploit your supercontagious illness: do you like something that the healthy have? Touch him and will be yours!
The Ice Age can be a bother, but look at the bright side: no more warm beer.
Think again. Not little.
Think again. Not little.
Many robots dream of becoming like humans. Some are planning to do it,
dressing up your skin.
dressing up your skin.
If the first thing you do in the morning is check to see if it's morning or
evening, perhaps you should change the area.
evening, perhaps you should change the area.
It is said that many aliens are vulnerable to Xaughat't Hurukagita. We have
only to understand what it is.
only to understand what it is.
It seems that on doomsday you will come out from your graves naked or, if all is well, with genitals barely covered by white fluttering clothes. Well, even with the most beautiful specimen of the opposite sex, is strictly forbidden to have impure thoughts. If you are a woman, God will see you. If you’re a man, all will see you.
The zombies come like a river in flood, then the most important thing is to choose the right time to recharge. For example, when the first of the line bends over to pick up his eye.
After the massacre everything could happen: you may be the boss of a company with 1000 employees. And that company could have 1,000 fewer employees.
Don't rely too much on Gore-Tex and other newness: if it rains vitriol there
no technical apparel will be enough.
no technical apparel will be enough.
If there isn't anything else, try to make friends with a robot who dreams of
becoming human. It may save your life if you pretend to explain the meaning
of the lyrics by April Lavigne.
becoming human. It may save your life if you pretend to explain the meaning
of the lyrics by April Lavigne.
If you leave the house, you can meet: a) the neighbours b) none c) your new
mutant masters d) your new mutant AND cannibal masters. Your choice!
mutant masters d) your new mutant AND cannibal masters. Your choice!
Sometimes it's just a color: many aliens are allergic to purple, in fact
last year we haven't seen them around.
last year we haven't seen them around.
It seems that in Paradise you drink much coffee. If anyone offers you a coffee don’t say no: it may be St. Peter.
Well, if they are zombies, the most important thing to do is to shoot, shoot, shoot. But sooner or later in any attack comes the time of dynamite. Be ready and stay at the right distance from the charge.
Surviving will be difficult, so don’t expect the Day of Reckoning, then begin immediately to exercise. Begin to walk, from today on, towards the periphery. And don’t ever turn around.
The lack of food, escapes by the skin of your teeth and the ecosystem
similar to sauna will ensure you a perfect form.
similar to sauna will ensure you a perfect form.
Some super-evolved machines can take the aspect of human beings. Pray to be
you those super-evolved machines.
you those super-evolved machines.
Okay, they are boring, but at least in the doomsday forget the damn poets and start reading them.
Keep the shoelaces of your victims. When it comes time of dynamite they are perfect as fuse.
In the shadow of the virus, the girls will significantly lower their standards: erected and with the skin attached to the muscles it’s all you have to promise.
Behind the Great Wall. Provides protection from the Mongols, Huns, and
people like that. And if you think that there are no more, take a look down
the street.
people like that. And if you think that there are no more, take a look down
the street.
Get used to reason on interstellar scale: if they took the Earth, perhaps
the easiest thing would be to change the solar system.
the easiest thing would be to change the solar system.
If you see that God is purple and has six arms, once before him avoid the songs of Red Gen and say few words of appreciation for the cows and spicy foods.
After some time zombies are around you, you will want to make them the verse: please do, they don’t notice anything.
Humanity is about to be exterminated by a deadly pandemic, and are you still drinking from the bottle? Have a little of common sense!
A peaceful and relaxing place is always the Antarctic. But the low
temperatures make it more difficult for re-settle, if you know what I mean.
temperatures make it more difficult for re-settle, if you know what I mean.
Fleeing by car is always a solution, however, be sure to fill up before the
alien invasion.
alien invasion.
If you're already dead, remember that you must go out from the grave to be judged. The advice is to opt for a cheap coffin, such as those on sale at Wall Mart, that can be broken also by skeletal hands, and it’s important to avoid oak and ash trees that are the most resistant. The last thing you want is to miss a resurrection because the quality of your coffin is too good.
Okay, you can also spend the night in the morgue, but there is the rule of hourly hotels: you can’t open the drawers.
For Heaven’s sake, at least now, with 98% of the human race infected from a deadly virus, use a condom!
New job opportunities: you could do the robot that stacks garbage and you
could pick up a robot-girl that seems an iPod.
could pick up a robot-girl that seems an iPod.
Be careful not to get caught with a Norton Antivirus by those of resistence,
you risk lynching.
you risk lynching.
A safe haven could be Atlantis, a city protected by millions of cubic meters
of water. Contraindications? May not exist.
of water. Contraindications? May not exist.
Fleeing is always a dignified option in front of a space battleship.
Helicopters and planes will be fine, just be aware there isn't also the
President of the United States on board.
Helicopters and planes will be fine, just be aware there isn't also the
President of the United States on board.
According to many people, carrying a holy picture would reduce the penalty in the case of Purgatory.
It’s strange, but post offices are a good choice: you just plug up the loophole by which you can pass the envelopes and you can easily talk to friends and relatives through the glass.
For those who don't want to work: in case of flooding, apply for a job in
the fire service.
the fire service.
Are you looking for the Resistance? You find them in the sewers, perhaps
mutated, but always with a great desire to do party.
mutated, but always with a great desire to do party.
If it seems useless, let it where it is. In 500 years, the next human
civilization will dig up and make crazy hypotesis about its use.
civilization will dig up and make crazy hypotesis about its use.
It is roumored that the Americans have wonderful bunkers. Becoming Vice
President of the United States can be useful. Not President, mind you, cause
that one always dies.
President of the United States can be useful. Not President, mind you, cause
that one always dies.
Passing under the Holy Door of St. Peter a couple of hours before the End of the earth is a good idea. Use an axe to open a hole whether it is closed is NOT a good idea.
Zombies know three words: "Mnnnnhh", "Blaaaargh" and "brains" and can’t decline any of them.
You might become the last man on Earth, ok, but look on the bright side: you could be Will Smith.
In these situations, an united family can overcome any adversity. Except
perhaps the opening of a volcanic fault in the dining-room.
perhaps the opening of a volcanic fault in the dining-room.
Many advanced machines, such as scanners and printers, can be knocked just
ordering them to do what they have been built for.
ordering them to do what they have been built for.
If you have just confessed your sins and feel that the end of the world is near (it’s 20 November 2012), try not to make big sins in your last days, because probably will be easier to self-restraint than finding a priest free.
Have you seen how they are crooked as they walk? Set up the house at the other end of a tibetan bridge, and you’ll be quiet.
Your last meal was: a) plenty of food found in a supermarket, b) a few
things found in the rubble, c) your left arm.
things found in the rubble, c) your left arm.
When you look at an object, ask yourself: can I use it for cooking? Can I
use it to hit someone and then cook it?
use it to hit someone and then cook it?
In any case, the aliens always start by the Americans and then they proceed
with Europe and the G8 to follow. There are villages in Africa where they
probably will not come anyway.
with Europe and the G8 to follow. There are villages in Africa where they
probably will not come anyway.
When do you have confessed your sins the last time? Remember that is active a toll-free number for confessions at the point of death. The difficult part in doomsday will be to take the line, so it should be predicted at least a few hours before.
If life gives you just radioactive lemons, use them as projectiles against the hordes of hungry zombies.
First ask yourself if your house is below: a) martial law, b) the hungry
eyes of a gang of jackals c) ten feet of water
eyes of a gang of jackals c) ten feet of water
The machines are often vulnerable to water: between a liquidator and a gun,
choose the liquidator. Between a liquidator and a ion rocket launcher choose
anyway the ion rocket launcher.
choose the liquidator. Between a liquidator and a ion rocket launcher choose
anyway the ion rocket launcher.
Now ask yourself: how can you carry your goods? Shoulder? Car? Aided by your
band of deformed mutants?
band of deformed mutants?
If the alien ships began to destroy the monuments there is a 3% chance they
had a bitch professor of art history at the high school. Cross your fingers.
had a bitch professor of art history at the high school. Cross your fingers.
If you are the last man on Earth and you have found the cure, please lose no
time to make twelve phials.
time to make twelve phials.
According to the Zoroastrians, the world will end after 72 hours of rain of
fire. A sturdy roof and four caskets of Hazzard County should be enough to
have it all.
fire. A sturdy roof and four caskets of Hazzard County should be enough to
have it all.
Each object can be bartered with the underground resistance, with the new
rulers, or with the blond in thong who lives in the gutter in front.
rulers, or with the blond in thong who lives in the gutter in front.
It is useless to seek revenge: who is responsible of an atomic holocaust is
always the first to lose out. If you need to give vent to your feelings,
shoot the mutants down the street.
always the first to lose out. If you need to give vent to your feelings,
shoot the mutants down the street.
If the alien ships began to destroy our monuments they may not appreciate
the pretentiousness. Or do not appreciate us.
the pretentiousness. Or do not appreciate us.
If you hear the noise of gnashing of teeth closer and closer, hook it in the opposite direction.
If the human population is reduced to one person, it is very likely that is
you to have to find the cure.
you to have to find the cure.
If the cause of the disaster is an asteroid, you can console yourself in
this way: "After all, it's happened even at the dinosaurs."
this way: "After all, it's happened even at the dinosaurs."
If phones rebelled, find a base where there is no connection. And execute a
counterattack in New Year's Eve, when they stop working.
counterattack in New Year's Eve, when they stop working.
Beware: if your neighbor invites you to go to harvest mushrooms in June, may
not be those that are under the trees.
not be those that are under the trees.
If they have fun to pulverize Earth men laughing, they didn't come in peace.
If they do it in serious way, it's the same.
If they do it in serious way, it's the same.
Pay attention to those zombies without arms, because they are the most dangerous: they can not grope like a fool and so they try to bite you immediately; it mustn’t happen.
Many viruses create mutants, but never those ones with the claws, the cigar
and sexy girls.
and sexy girls.
No more advertising: the streets will be dominated by posters of Green Peace
with the new slogan: "We told you so."
with the new slogan: "We told you so."
If trains rebelled, change frequently your base. Trains will arrive thirsty
of death, full of deadly weapons, but late.
of death, full of deadly weapons, but late.
If they have drooling mouth, triple rows of teeth and only one stomach, are
carnivores.
carnivores.
Everyone knows that the good men are on the right hand of the Father, the damned ones on his left. Thereby try to arrange yourself to start in the right place. Naturally, if you will be opposite to the Father, you should lay out to HIS right and so to your left; while, if He will appear from behind, you should arrange to your right. In any case, if He already appears from behind, it won’t be a good sign.
Yes, even if you tear-off their legs, they continue to creep: always keep an eye on the floor.
Many viruses turns immediately in zombie. Consult the section of Zombi can
be useful, but even more useful is not to be infected.
be useful, but even more useful is not to be infected.
For Hindus the end of the world will come in the form of flooding. If you
like beef, maybe you should buy a bigger canoe.
like beef, maybe you should buy a bigger canoe.
Explore around, maybe climbing a lamppost. If there isn't a lamppost use a
wall. If there isn't even the wall, perhaps you don't need to explore the
surroundings.
wall. If there isn't even the wall, perhaps you don't need to explore the
surroundings.
If they have sharp crests, red eyes like slits and curved claws, they are
dangerous.
dangerous.
Don’t force yourself to understand the concept of the Trinity. It’s wasted time, even and especially on doomsday. If an angel asks you if you understood the history of the Trinity make a reassuring nod and try not to laugh.
Some zombies eat human flesh, others not, but from your point of view doesn’t change anything.
A virus that causes mutations facilitates diagnosis: green skin? Ill. Pink
skin? Healthy.
skin? Healthy.
If the whole world has turned into a prairie scoured by shining bison,
though it may seem unlikely, pray Manitou. Augh.
though it may seem unlikely, pray Manitou. Augh.
Explore around. What do you see when you look out the window? A) A green
sky. B) A metal desert. C) What window?. D) With which head?
sky. B) A metal desert. C) What window?. D) With which head?
Always remember this sentence, it may seem meaningless but it's still useful: "forgive seventy times seven."
If the climatic upheavals accompany the opening of seals, trumpet calls and
things like that, think back to your atheism.
things like that, think back to your atheism.
Radiation will continue to haunt the planet for centuries: cross your DNA
with that of a cockroach could be a winning choice.
with that of a cockroach could be a winning choice.
Try to seduce one of them for the good of humanity, but be prepared to go
where no man has gone before.
where no man has gone before.
Do you remember that nerd classmate you have persecuted for 5 years and, victim of your oppression, then chose the seminary and became a priest? It’s time to apologize to him quickly.
Nobody has ever understood why, but the best weapon against the zombies will always be the shotgun. The gun and machine guns are for those who know how to die but will not surrender immediately.
It's enough with the ketchup, it's enough with the mayonnaise: the seasoning
of the post-infection age is vinegar of amukine.
of the post-infection age is vinegar of amukine.
In case of raining of frogs or grasshoppers, and openings of the seas, can
be useful to convert to Judaism.
be useful to convert to Judaism.
You could be the leader of the resistance: prepare to meet pissed
Schwarzeneggers at all ages.
Schwarzeneggers at all ages.
Look at the bright side: the end of the world? Means the end of: alarms on
Monday, traffic, appointments to the dentist, the boy band (or not?).
Monday, traffic, appointments to the dentist, the boy band (or not?).
They are beautiful, dressed in a scanty way and with strange colors: seduce
one of them can be an excellent first step towards intergalactic peace.
one of them can be an excellent first step towards intergalactic peace.
If you aspire to heaven, let yourself be found to listen to classical music, possibly Bach. In any case, avoid listening to a Led Zeppelin record played backwards.
In the case of glaciation, immediately fled from the city to your seaside
house. In case of melting of polar icecaps, run to your house on mountain.
Be very careful not to get confused on this point.
house. In case of melting of polar icecaps, run to your house on mountain.
Be very careful not to get confused on this point.
Be positive: don't let yourself go to useless moans such as: "Where is my
husband? Where is my family? Where is my right arm?".
husband? Where is my family? Where is my right arm?".
There's one called Sha'akar Bomb of Thousand Devastating Splinters: no human
has ever used one. If you are the first to do so, make sure you have a
remote control.
has ever used one. If you are the first to do so, make sure you have a
remote control.
If you are sure to be condemned to hell, at worst you can arm yourself with a liquidator full of holy water.
Disinfectants will be your Dom Perignon, antibiotics your Crystal. Keep that
Buscopan for a special day.
Buscopan for a special day.
Think twice if during your next trip to Egypt someone offer you thirty
camels for your wife, your wife will be useless in case of desertification
of the globe.
camels for your wife, your wife will be useless in case of desertification
of the globe.
You must learn to do all without the help of machines: making bread, light
up the house, check facebook.
up the house, check facebook.
The alien weapons are often devastating, but alien in shape: be careful to
clasp in the right side.
clasp in the right side.
Do you want to fight the doomsday with a weapon? Do you want to make a hole of 10 centimeters in the wing of an angel? Mmmh, bad idea.
A zombie can be incinerated, dismembered, dissolved in acid, frozen and torn to shreds. Just don’t expect him to die of oldness.
If the virus spreads because of a skeletal creature riding a horse in
decomposition, forget the antibiotics.
decomposition, forget the antibiotics.
Strive to make friends with the neighbor's husky: it could be very useful in
case of a second ice age.
case of a second ice age.
Remember Sarah Connor: "Who does not wear at least three pairs of heat
glasses will have little cause for rejoicing."
glasses will have little cause for rejoicing."
The alien weapons are devastating but have misleading forms: if the green
bastards don't raise their hands immediately, you are drawing a mixer on
them.
bastards don't raise their hands immediately, you are drawing a mixer on
them.
With dead men leaving from their graves, no man alive thinks that is a good idea to attend a cemetery. Yet a tomb from which the dead is already out and that no demon or angel monitor is probably the best shelter that you can think of.
If the virus is spread by inoculation, be wary of anyone who wants to take a
prick without reason, especially if wearing a white jacket with the symbol
of a unscrupulous megacorporation.
prick without reason, especially if wearing a white jacket with the symbol
of a unscrupulous megacorporation.
Not expect to be notified of an environmental catastrophe from weather
forecasts: the Air Force colonels are always the last to realize.
forecasts: the Air Force colonels are always the last to realize.
Remember Indiana Jones: in case of atomic explosion also be fastened in a
refrigerator may save your life. And you can eat a yogurt in the meantime.
refrigerator may save your life. And you can eat a yogurt in the meantime.
Fight fire with fire, as Metallica said. To steal an alien gun is always the
first essential step towards humanity revolt.
first essential step towards humanity revolt.
Pay particular attention to viral zombies: they spread with the speed of a YouTube video but they do more damage.
If the virus spreads by saliva, just don't kiss people at random in the
disco, especially if: secretes green slime, his eyes are bright red, leaks
shreds of flesh.
disco, especially if: secretes green slime, his eyes are bright red, leaks
shreds of flesh.
If a failed scientist who lives in a weather cabin at the top of a mountain
announces an environmental disaster, believe him.
announces an environmental disaster, believe him.
Immediately assure not to be an advanced machine model masked as a human
being. If there isn't anything better, use the test: "Knife in the arm."
being. If there isn't anything better, use the test: "Knife in the arm."
Many aliens are vulnerable to acidic substances contained in Earth fruits.
Please refer to file # B432.5 to build a fruit salad cannon.
Please refer to file # B432.5 to build a fruit salad cannon.
Introduce yourself to the doomsday with something strictly white, preferably with no writing. T-shirts of heavy metal bands are a bad idea.
In case of zombies created by the necromancy, you just need to find the necromancer and set fire to him.
If the virus spreads by contact, it's time to pull out of the drawer those
gloves with the giraffes drowed on that your grandmother gave you for
Christmas 2005 and you should wear them without shame.
gloves with the giraffes drowed on that your grandmother gave you for
Christmas 2005 and you should wear them without shame.
However, in case of environmental disaster, the President of the United
States brings bad luck.
States brings bad luck.
The supermarkets are always a good source of supplies: if they are build
under a layer of lead two feet thick, yummy!
under a layer of lead two feet thick, yummy!
Many aliens are vulnerable to our diseases, such as those ones War of the Worlds. As a last resort, try to sneeze in their face.
Ok, you don’t have a plan B. You can try to hide in a confessional: a black suit, a distracted angel and is done, you're in paradise.
The most important thing is to ascertain the origin of zombies. Who has created them? A magician? A virus? Television?
If the virus spreads by air, do not hesitate to swap your plasma TV with a
gas mask.
gas mask.
If it rains fire, an umbrella is not enough. An umbrella of asbestos can
help, but it must be coupled with anti-contamination overalls.
help, but it must be coupled with anti-contamination overalls.
Were you looking for an opportunity to loosen up yourself? Well, this is the
age when you must pull the plug. (in inglese non c'è il gioco di parole).
age when you must pull the plug. (in inglese non c'è il gioco di parole).
If you were one of those paranoid who lived in bunkers during the 50's,
well, you are a boss in 10's years.
well, you are a boss in 10's years.
As would be foolish in having attacked the earth, the aliens may be allergic to water: pay attention to see if they make the shower or if they wash with those hideous wet wipes.
Difficult to think about something where the eye of God cannot come, so better have in store a plan B.
Is it necessary to say? The zombies die shooting them at the brain. It seems strange because they don’t use it, but it’s just so.
Who has spread the virus? Aliens? Corrupted secret services? A crazy
necromancer? In all these cases you are in serious trouble.
necromancer? In all these cases you are in serious trouble.
Any technological object is potentially dangerous. Resign yourself to eating
cold bread in the morning for some time.
cold bread in the morning for some time.
Bury them before the catastrophe. No matter how tidy is your turf, after the
bomb will still be no good.
bomb will still be no good.
Many aliens are telepathic. Try not to think; and if you must, think of nice and pleasant things. Except the little men of Marshmallows, of course.
There are many potential vindictive and destructive gods. Be sure you understand the basics of the major monotheistic religions.
First, it is essential to ascertain the nature of the virus: is it the usual
seasonal influenza or a tecno-sore that turns men into flying jellies?
seasonal influenza or a tecno-sore that turns men into flying jellies?
It's useless arguing with machines: they decided to exterminate us all
because we had become a danger to ourselves; they are people who think in
its own way.
because we had become a danger to ourselves; they are people who think in
its own way.
If alien invaders have big heads like in Mars Attacks, they are probably vulnerable to bad '50s music. So hide in a dance hall.
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